On identity, borders, and the cost of leaving Europe
I’m proudly British. Married twice to a French woman, both sadly deceased. Bilingual, dual-nationality children, and one British-Thai trilingual daughter who I hope will soon gain French citizenship.
I live in France. I love France. And I believe deeply in the idea of Europe as a shared civic space, not a cluster of anxious little fortresses eyeing one another across borders. Different languages, cultures and histories, yes. But bound by cooperation, freedom of movement, and a collective determination not to repeat the worst catastrophes of the 20th century.
The EU, for all its flaws, is not about erasing identity. It is about enlarging it.
This is our flag too 🇪🇺
I did not “wake up” to Europe recently. I have lived in France for decades. A cross-border, multicultural life. Work, family, languages. I never bothered applying for French nationality. Having voted in the 1975 referendum, which produced a roughly 67–33 landslide in favour of Europe, I assumed the question was settled once and for all. Not for a news cycle. Not for a generation. Settled. Then Brexit proved that assumption fatally naïve. Overnight, it was taken away by a whisker-thin ‘advisory’ referendum majority of those who voted, overturning a far larger, long-standing mandate. A campaign financed by a self-interested wealthy elite, driven by lies, nostalgia, a wilful ignorance of how modern Europe actually functions, and later exposed as a political sewer in which former UKIP MEP and later Brexit Party and Reform UK figure Nathan Gill was convicted of accepting pro-Russian money.
As a British citizen in France today, I can stay here indefinitely with a residence permit. But step across another EU border and I become a third-country national. Timed. Limited. Herded. Counted. Reduced. The freedom of movement I exercised for most of my adult life now exists only on paper, in my well-worn, soon-to-expire, burgundy passport.
That is not sovereignty. It is deliberate self-harm dressed up as pride.
So I am applying for French citizenship. Not to abandon Britain, but to reclaim the European identity that was stripped away against my will.
Rejoining will not be quick. It will not be easy. But the damage Brexit has done is structural, personal and generational, and pretending otherwise helps no one. The consequences of leaving are not going away either.
Back in 2008 – well before Brexit, Trumpism, and the subsequent parade of geopolitical absurdities – the British press was already having a mild panic about the supposed “collapse” of the expat dream. The pound had taken a tumble against the euro, the property bubble was deflating, and journalists were circling like vultures over the lavender fields of Provence and the golf courses of Andalucía.
Tabloids and broadsheets alike ran lurid stories of “broke Brits fleeing France and Spain in droves,” driven back to Blighty by collapsing exchange rates, failed gîte ventures, and sterling-linked mortgages gone sour. The underlying tone was unmistakable: serves them right for getting ideas above their station.
Nothing new under the Sun…
But was there really an exodus? Or just the usual attrition – a few dreamers heading home, chastened, while the more resilient quietly carried on?
The truth, as ever, was less dramatic. The global financial crisis had rattled everyone, and many small-scale British ventures in rural France were vulnerable. But for most long-term residents – myself included – it wasn’t the end of anything. We tightened belts, mended roofs, took on extra work, or simply adjusted our expectations. The ones who left had often come chasing a fantasy. Those who stayed had usually come looking for something more substantial: sanity.
I remember a call from Bill Coles, an Old Etonian tabloid hack writing for the Daily Express, who was doing a piece on this supposed “mass migration back to the UK”. I tried to inject a little balance: yes, some expats were struggling – but a stampede home? Hardly. Unsurprisingly, none of that nuance made it into print. The Express had already written its conclusion before the phone rang. The story needed villains and victims, not perspective.
In truth, most of us hadn’t come for the cheaper wine or larger gardens. We’d left Britain because something fundamental had begun to feel unliveable: the pace, the noise, the corrosive work culture, the unrelenting worship of growth. France, for all its bureaucracy and provincial quirks, still offered a sense that life outside work mattered. There was a slower rhythm, a stronger attachment to family and community, and an enduring respect for the art of simply being – qualities that Britain, by the early 2000s, seemed to have sold off along with its railways.
That said, even France was shifting. By 2008, the cracks were visible: rising costs, eroding public services, and rural depopulation beginning to hollow out the villages. Still, compared with the UK’s tabloid-fuelled hysteria and market-driven politics, it felt civilised – human, even.
When I later began dividing my time between France and Thailand, the contrasts sharpened further. Thailand, for all its contradictions, possessed something I’d long stopped seeing in Western societies: composure. A certain patience with life’s imperfections. A detachment from the frantic, performative misery that had infected much of the West. Thailand wasn’t paradise – far from it – but it offered perspective. It reminded me that comfort and contentment aren’t the same thing, and that dignity can exist without affluence.
So was there an exodus back around 2008? Perhaps – of those who’d come seeking an idyll, or who’d mistaken the dream for the work required to sustain it. But for many of us, the balance sheet still came out in favour of staying. The gains – time, peace, perspective – outweighed the losses.
We hadn’t emigrated for the weather, the rosé, or the romance of rural life. We’d come to breathe more slowly, to feel a little more human. And however turbulent the world became – from sub-prime crashes to Brexit psychodramas – that still seemed a bargain worth keeping.
As for returning to Britain in 2025 – where neo-fascists lead the polls and history is being rewritten in real time – you’d have to manacle me to the rear end of the Eurostar and drag me through the Channel Tunnel backwards. And even then, I’d be kicking, screaming, and plotting my escape the moment we surfaced in Kent.
Family trees are strange things. They offer the illusion of order, a tidy branchwork of names and dates. But beneath the surface, they’re tangled with myth, omission, and the mess of human behaviour. Mine is no different. It begins in Scotland, detours through Jamaica, dips its toes in the abolitionist movement, and ends up – for a moment, at least – in the House of Lords.
In 2000, curiosity got the better of me, and I began investigating my mother’s side of the family – the Wedderburns. The process started slowly, with dusty registers and hesitant searches, but eventually, a story began to emerge that was far richer – and darker – than I’d anticipated.
I confirmed that we were directly descended from Robert Wedderburn: a radical, a pamphleteer, an anti-slavery campaigner, a fierce critic of Empire. The illegitimate son of an enslaved woman and a Scottish plantation owner, he was born in Jamaica in the late 18th century and later became a thorn in the side of British respectability. His writings – vivid, angry, unrelenting – had been buried for years but not forgotten. And there he was, in my bloodline, my ancestral grandfather. A ghost with something to say.
I kept the discovery to myself for a while. Not because I was ashamed – quite the opposite – but because I sensed it might cause a stir. That opportunity arrived in 2001, at a centenary party for the mother of Lord Kenneth (Bill) Wedderburn, a Labour peer, legal heavyweight, and fellow descendant.
It was a polite gathering – hors d’oeuvres, linen tablecloths, clinking glasses. Various limbs of the family tree had assembled, including the more genteel of our ‘scalemaker’ line, convinced their name traced back to the aristocratic Wedderburns of Blackness in Dundee. And indeed it did – but not quite in the manner they had imagined. It was the perfect moment to drop a quiet genealogical bombshell.
I outlined, cheerfully, how our name didn’t just descend from Scottish aristocracy but also from slavery and resistance. Robert Wedderburn wasn’t some obscure offshoot. He was direct blood. Some eyebrows lifted. Some dropped. A few went missing altogether. There was a ripple of discomfort, a touch of denial. But also, to my surprise, a smattering of genuine intrigue. Bill’s daughter Professor Lucy Wedderburn, I distinctly remember, actually laughed in delight.
Bill Wedderburn wasn’t at the party – he and his mother had long since fallen out – but we met up the following day. He was sharp as ever, keen to see the evidence. I brought baptism records, slave registers, Robert’s pamphlets, even the will of Jamaican slave and plantation owner Sir John Wedderburn, who had named his mixed-race children as beneficiaries. It was all there, plain as day. And of course Robert was born ‘free’.
To Bill’s credit, he was delighted. This was no embarrassment – it was dynamite. He’d always seen the links between class struggle and racial injustice, and here they were, stitched into his own lineage. He arranged for me to visit the House of Lords – a surreal experience, not least because I was introduced as a newly discovered cousin to one Alexander Scrymgeour-Wedderburn, the 12th Earl of Dundee, hereditary peer and Royal Standard Bearer of Scotland.
The Earl was gracious, if faintly bemused. When Bill told him of our shared descent, he offered the standard reply: that the Black Wedderburns were simply former slaves who had adopted the name of their owners. Bill raised an eyebrow. I produced the documents.
It wasn’t really a contest. The Earl, though courteous, was no match for Bill’s legal tenacity. He conceded, eventually, and even invited me to visit his estate in Scotland, where the family still kept records, letters, and a silhouette woodcut portrait of the executed Sir John Wedderburn – originally sketched by the gaoler’s daughter on the night before his hanging after Culloden.
That was the moment, I think, when history stopped being abstract. Two men, once on opposite sides of a slave-owning dynasty – one a Labour peer, the other a hereditary lord – now sat across from each other at Westminster, their bloodlines reluctantly re-entwined.
Bill and I kept in touch. We shared a quiet pleasure in the irony of it all. He once said, grinning, “Well, that puts the bloody cat among the pigeons, doesn’t it?” Indeed it did.
I wrote to the Earl later, to follow up on his invitation. He never replied.
Aquila non captat muscas, goes the old family motto – the eagle does not catch flies.
Maybe not. But some of us keep flitting about, nonetheless.
That was 2001. Now in 2025, the world has changed greatly. However, the French saying “plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose” comes to mind. The more things change, the more they stay the same. And this is delightfully encapsulated in the epilogue to the detailed and meticulously researched. And this is delightfully encapsulated in the epilogue to the detailed and meticulously researched biography of Robert Wedderburn by Ryan Hanley, published in March 2025. I’ve corresponded with Ryan several times over the past couple of years, and I’m sure he won’t mind my quoting this final passage.
“In our atomised and terminally online times, Robert’s insistence on the need for radical solidarity over liberal individualism sounds like a clarion call through the fog of an obscured past, a nearly forgotten, brief moment when another world seemed possible. It is fitting that he is more and more seen by scholars as an important figure for our understanding of the relationship between slavery and capitalism. His apparently intuitive understanding that racialised capitalism was the common denominator in the exploitation of workers around the world – from enslaved people in Jamaica to factory workers and dung-tailors in London – has inspired scholars to explore how early socialist ideas were articulated in relation to empire.
It seems difficult not to see ourselves reflected when we look at the world that made – and then so spectacularly unmade – Robert’s reputation. Within the ongoing omni-crisis of late-stage capitalism – food banks, unaffordable housing, resurgent state-condoned racism, and paid-for political gaslighting operating at an industrial scale – Robert’s outright rejection of any authority derived from the violent expropriation and hoarding of land and resources is now very much back in vogue.
The language that scholars have used when describing Robert’s radicalism – “organic,” “natural,” “earthy,” even “pungent” – speaks to an enduring sense that he embodies a pure form of radicalism: radicalism as it should be. His prophetic vision of a world without slavery or poverty was predicated on the idea that solidarity between colonised and exploited peoples was not only possible and desirable but inevitable.
While he learned, to his cost, toward the end of his life, that such solidarity could not be taken for granted, Robert remained optimistic about the capacity for poor and enslaved people to find common cause in the pursuit of freedom and equality. Until his death, he believed that they might one day even be successful. For this belief, he was once derided as naïve – even deluded. But he was more of a realist than people gave him credit for.
He understood from the example of Haiti the need to plan carefully to defend anything that might be gained from an insurrectionary movement for freedom. He learned from Barbados and Demerara, and from William Davidson and Arthur Thistlewood too, that insurrections most often ended up with bloody reprisals – with severed heads held up to the crowd or fixed on a spike over Temple Bar. He learned from his father and half-brother Andrew that the law is no guide to conscience, and that power has a habit of legitimising itself as it reproduces.
Most importantly, he learned from [his mother] Rosanna and [grandmother] Amy that sometimes it was worth the punishment to thumb one’s nose at authority – to unsettle for a moment the complacent, self-regarding assumptions about justice and honour held among a pack of slaveholders. Seemingly doomed acts of defiance in the face of overwhelming odds can yield major effects further down the line.
In Jamaica they have a saying: “If you are the big tree, then we are the small axe.” There is nothing naïve about that.”
Bill, had he still been here, would have loved this work by Dr Ryan Hanley. And I can’t help but see how our worldviews, two centuries later, uncannily mirror Robert’s, and have done so since well long before either of us even knew of his existence. A kinship in more than the genetic sense.
House of Lords revisited
If I have a regret, it’s that I only got to know Bill properly when he was nearing the end of his life. We met on several occasions afterward, usually at the House of Lords. I liked him immensely. He was direct, abrasive, unapologetic – not unlike Robert, I imagined.
We lunched together in the Peers’ Dining Room a few times – an august venue where the long table rule still holds: one sits beside whomever arrived before. One time I was sandwiched between Bill and the eccentric Lord Longford – known as “Lord Porn” for his anti-pornography crusades, and “Lord Wrongford” for his unpopular and undoubtedly misguided attempts to free Myra Hindley, one of the Moors murderers. Conversation was sporadic and punctuated by explosive sneezing, tissues tumbling from every pocket like ticker tape.
Another visit brought minor scandal. Wandering the corridors, I found myself face-to-face with the Speaker of the House and his entourage. You’re supposed to stand aside in silence. I didn’t. Bill hissed at me like a schoolmaster catching a pupil smoking behind the bike sheds.
Later, while Bill was needed for a vote, I wandered off and slipped into what appeared to be a quiet library. Within moments, a flustered staff member appeared – but couldn’t cross the threshold from the red-carpeted corridor to the green-and-red of the room itself. “Sir! Sir!” he stage-whispered. “Only peers may enter the Library!” I apologised and stepped out, but couldn’t resist asking whether the many decrepit Lords had to do their own dusting.
For all its grandeur, its ritual and its red velvet robes, that place still can’t quite silence the ghosts.